Letting Go

Encouragement , Families , Fathers , Homeschool , Homeschooling , Mothers , Parenting , Support Add comments

by Marilyn Rockett

As I explored bookstores, I discovered a plethora of books about training children, discipline, knowing your child, loving your teen, making family memories . . . the list is endless. But where were the books and advice on handling the inevitable transition from the busy years of raising a family to the empty nest.

Oh yes, there were plenty of colorful selections about careers, hobbies, travel, and so forth—all the possibilities to occupy your time now that you weren’t training, teaching, and loving little ones. But absent were books about that difficult season of “letting go”? It is hard—harder than a mother imagines it will be before she begins to realize it is happening.

I’ve heard it said that God places our babies safely between our arms and beneath our hearts. Their little lives give life to us, and we treasure them as God’s gifts. In His mercy, He designed the relinquishing process to advance in fragments, although it isn’t as noticeable when the children are young.

As you rush to get out the door and your child wants to tie his own shoe, you stop and allow him time to accomplish his newly acquired skill; you let go a tiny bit. When he participates in his first group activity away from home—scouts, ball, music lessons—you release a little. When he wants to earn his own money and devises big plans for some entrepreneurial scheme that you know will probably fall short of his expectations, you encourage the venture for his experience; you surrender still more control.

Then, almost unexpectedly, when what seemed so distant becomes today, you can scarcely believe it has arrived. How did it happen so quickly? You prayed for him and prepared him for this. His time at home under your watchful care is ending, and he will go to college or get his first real job. He’s a man now, albeit a little green. Your true work is complete and you must fully let go.

Letting Go Means . . .

  • Letting go means that you pray more than you ever did when he was young.
  • Letting go means that you continue to love and care but you can’t do things for him any longer.
  • Letting go means that you hurt when he makes a poor decision, but you permit him the mistake and don't judge or try to change him.
  • Letting go means that you are supportive but you can’t fix things for him.
  • Letting go means no blame or criticism for the past (for you or for him). It means that you look to the future and know he will make it in God’s good design and time.
  • Letting go means that you allow him to be the human God designed him to be.
  • Letting go means that you relinquish parental power. It means that God is more able to continue the life-learning process than you are.
  • Letting go means that as you watch him drive away, knowing he isn’t just leaving for camp or a trip to the store, you do know he will go out to all that God has designed for him, and he will return in a new relationship as a young adult.
  • Letting go means releasing your fears and doubts while you embrace love and trust—love and trust for him and for the Heavenly Father who completes the training in each of our lives.
  • Letting go means that, yes, tears will fall, but God has prepared you and your young person for the joy, love, and amazing life that He planned for each of us before the foundation of the world. God is able, and in that, you can let go and rest in your job well done.

Copyright 2014. Used by permission of the author. For reprints, contact Marilyn Rockett at Marilyn@MarilynRockett.com


Marilyn Rockett is a veteran homeschool mom of four grown sons and Mimi to six grandsons, one granddaughter, and three great-grandsons, with new twin grandchildren on the way. She has worked in local, state, and national homeschool efforts for over thirty years and is formerly Editor-in-chief for Homeschooling Today magazine. Her book, Homeschooling at the Speed of Life, provides organizational helps and encouragement, and she has contributed to several other books and written numerous articles as well as spoken at numerous conferences. Contact her at Marilyn@MarilynRockett.com

 

1 response to “Letting Go”

  1. Prdana Says:
    Letting go is so hard especially when you are not truly prepared and they walk away in rebellion. They foresake all you have taught them, and the foundation you have given them in the Lord... that is when it hurts beyond measure. I am joyous that I have experienced the letting go process in a heathy way as well with many blessing. No matter what you try to do to prepare your heart is never really ready is it?

    Prdama

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